Jump to content

Goodbye to everybody


vvv

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone, 

I haven't uploaded anything or ever created a account, but I have been visiting this site quite often and watched various streamers play. The reason why I am making a account today is to explain why im done with gambling in general and why I've closed all my accounts. A lot of different things have happened, but in the end everything combined made me feel  extremly down.  

It all started years ago when I started playing at Unibet. Placing soccer bets with my dad at the local store became boring and I wanted something new. I started placing soccer bets at unibet but I wasn't really good at it. Basketball has always been interesting to me so i decided to move to that sport. I started with small stakes. I turned out to be prety good in betting on basketball. Small stakes became bigger. Big wins came but with that there were also the big losses. I loved live betting. Easy, fast and quick money. At least that was what I thought at that time. I always felt great when I had big wins. In fact I felt soo great that I didn't notice the big losses that were there aswell. 

Over the years I've burnt a lot of money. I always kept thinking that I would win back all the money I've lost eventually. But in the back of my head I always knew that something like that would never happen. But the playing continued. 

Every time that the moment of quitting came closer and closer, there was always a big win around the corner that changed my mind. So instead of quitting I kept playing. Imagine having 50 bucks left in your account (bookmaker)and winning 2500 for example. I always thought I would cash out 2200, play with 300 but in the end everything was getting redeposited. And extra money was deposited in the end. 

 

During my gambling years and as this all was happening there was a lot going on in my family. My mothers sister got throat cancer twice and both times it looked like she wasn't going to make it, but she luckily did. Also her brother was found dead once in the morning with a brain illnes. The deaths were very hard to handle for my mom, family and me as we were all prety close. After these things happened I felt sad. When I went on gambling again I noticed that my sadness somehow dissapeared. Or at least a little bit. I felt a little bit happier and I kept on playing/depositing. I knew at that time that it wasn't good for me but the sadness dissapeared for a little bit and that felt nice so I kept on doing it. 

 

At that point I was also still in university learning IT. At first i was interested in it and wanted to make a living working in IT. But the events in my family (with some still untold)and my gambling issues made me nervous. I slept late, not bad, just late. I had a lot of projects to do which i finished during the nights. I felt awfull but still passed my exams. I started working in a supermarket instead of working in IT. It somehow felt safe. Like I didnt earn much, but it felt somehow safe. And now years later i regret the decision and feel dumb and have zero confidence working in it or anywhere else ever again.  

 

On top of all of this my mother got diagnosed with alzheimer disease. She is just 65 years old and I gotta take care of her. It went downhill prety quickly. We got some help here but in general the things that you can do in my country is shit and it takes months or even longer to get any help. I continued gambling and started to feel lost. All the things that happened in my family, my gambling addiction and the alzheimer of my mother. It's just too much to handle. I am working in a supermarket for 5 years now since I passed my exams and its literally impossible for me to find a job in IT due to the lack  of experience. This makes me feel even worse. 

 

But today I was thinking. I can't turn around the past, but im still 27. I still have a future ahead. I cant fix a illnes or cure cancer, but I can stop gambling which hopefully gives me some joy back in my life after everything that has happened. Im not that good in englisch and its hard sometimes to write a story where everybody understands what i mean, but i tried. 

 

I will use this account only to post this message. I wanna delete the account immediatly as long as my message can keep posted for a few days. It helps me personally to finally tell this story as I have nobody to talk to and all the professional organisations are closed and will keep being closed for a few months. Im also on the list to speak to a doctor, but the waiting time is 6 months at this moment.   

 

Gambling can be fun. But when the fun stops you have to stop. The fun has been gone a long time ago, but I never took action. Untill today. Today I closed all of my accounts and decided to quite. Have a nice day guys! Im out. Time to pay some debts back. I dont have bizarre debts, but I will be able to be "free" by the end of november. 

 

Kind regards, 

V

  

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...